During this semester, I learned how to type in an MLA format paper. As the semester comes to an end, if I reflect back on my goals, I kind of achieved what I wanted because my vocabulary has become the stronger and more effective than the beginning of the semester. Moreover, My ideas have been more descriptive and understandable than before.
 I would like to add one more goal that I want to learn to write for the audience. In addition, I would like to more focus on the thesis, trustworthy tone, and audience's attention.

As a writer, I would like to continue to be more focused on my main ideas and build an effective thesis. My weakness is I go off track during typing my essay when It's related to my personal life which is irrelevant. I will try to stick with my topics in future.

 For my portfolio I choose to revise my argument essay.

Strengths: 

1.  Involvement of idffrent point of views
2.  Effective ideas related to the thesis
3.  Effective thesis

Weaknesses:

1. Grammar mistakes
2. Need to be more focused and concise
3. ideas should have been connected to each other to help the reader

To effectively revise my essay, I m going to more focus to smooth my essay by connecting the ideas to each other. I will also make sure that I will related my ideas to the thesis as well. I will read each paragraph out loud so that I can figure out my grammar mistakes. I will also make sure that I won't go off topic or I will my best to not become more broad while writing.

I will also make sure that my ideas wouldn't confuse my audience and I would try to bring my readers or audiences attention to the argument so that they wont question my paper or argument. I will also make sure that my evidence is arguable and related to the thesis and my topic so that I can provide better knowledge of my argument to the reader.

I analyzed the essay named "Free speech off campus should be protected?" In that essay, the writer used a question in the title. I will also used the question to analyze my argument so that I can bring people's attention and let them know what i am going to argue about. This taught me how question can make reader think about the issue more.

In that essay the writer also used the trustworthy tone for her audience so that she can convey audience about her argument. I will try to use the same positive and trustworthy tone to make my audience believe so that they won't have opposing point of view than me.

In the essay that I analyzed, the writer showed the opposing point to show the audience different point of views. In the essay that I am going to argue on bullying I will show the positive and negative effect of bullying show audience the effects of my argument.

Thesis: Even though bullying in high school is one of the most common issues in today's society, it should become a major concern for teens in order to decrease the rate of suicides in teenagers.

My most compelling evidence is an example of a classmate, Jeremy Walzack, who recently committed suicide because there were lots of students use to bully him because of his mental disorders and failures in his classes. No one noticed the symptoms of suicide because his friends thought that he probably had a break up with his girl friend. But, then they found out that he was getting bullied by people who were claiming that he is not cool. It's logical that if you have seen bullying in recent that means it's usual and important to prevent.

My weakest evidence is my claim that if students find out the symptoms of suicides in their friends and classmates then they can tell someone adult or teachers so that they can hire a social adviser to help their friend. So that's why I m arguing that it should become a major concern and teens should take it seriously by helping their friends. Moreover, teens also can understand that bullying is a crime and they can get punish for it as well so that they should bully someone and play with their feelings.

Pattern of errors

• Being descriptive: This is the part where I mess up most of the time because I look at the length of essay and make my explanations shorter so I can point out important stuff. This makes my essay less descriptive and short. I also sometimes end my conclusions with a new idea that I don't explain because I want others to think about it. But I guess I should just summarize my essay.

• Grammar mistakes: I made a lot of grammar mistakes during my essay and this makes my essay less effective as a college level essay. So I guess I should start checking my errors twice and read my essay out loud to someone so that can improve my writing papers.

• Confusing points: I also confuse my reader by not explaining my point very well or getting too wordy that makes hard for the reader to understand because one word can have two different meanings.This makes my essay confusing and abrupt as you say and I will try to improve it this time!:)

Free speech off campus must be protected.......

I think they consider this case as a hard case because it's not just a educational issue..It's also a respect issue. From my point of view, people expects respect when they donate their or their loved ones body to any programs and Amanda Tatro violated the obligation to respect the donated body. 

All of the students of those kinds of programs are usually aware of the instructions of respect and dignity in the beginning of the classes. And once she broke the law of the respect and after the university is aware of it, they had to take actions because it's disrespectful. So I think that there isn't an issue on the first amendment or a political issue. It's about the policies of University and the program. Moreover, it doesn't matter if she post it on her facebook wall on campus or off campus because once anything posted on internet, people can access it while they are in university and more students can do the same thing as she did. After reading this over and over, I am agree with the arguments of the university. So University has all the right to discipline for the violation of their policy and Tatro's disrespectful behaviors toward the program. In addition, it also hurts university's reputation from the donor's families's point of views. 

 Peer Review......................

         I think the peer review in the class is kind of effective but not too much. I would suggest you to start grading people's peer review because sometimes the peer doesn't even finish their review..That's what happened with my last one, and I didn't have any clue how to improve my rough draft or paper. otherwise, it's good that I get to know other people's point of view. 

         As a peer reviewer, I am good at finding others mistakes and I am also good at describing my point of view according to their topics. However, I am also bad at finding grammar mistakes. yes, I like to peer review for the earlier stages of writing process so that it's easier for the others to fix their mistakes. I like small groups because it's more fun!!Yes ,I always have appropriate amount of time to peer review for others. :)

My college experience has been good so far. The best class that I enjoyed during my freshman year is FYE: school's out. I enjoyed going on field trip with Dr.Stirling and my friends. It was so much fun and I really miss it this semester. I also enjoyed working on my quiz and homework with math tutors in the library. They are so cool and they makes me laugh every time I visit them. The least thing that I enjoyed during my freshman year is being in my programming class because my friends dropped out and I am the only girl in that class so I have to sit alone!!:( But I guess it's worth it. Overall, I just love being a college student!!<3:)

For this blog post, I chose to analyze the argument about Amanda Tatro and her friends(classmates) who post some comments on her facebook page. I think that the punishment is unfair since according to the criminal investigation, she didn't intent to harm anyone; however, Uni. of Minnesota put charges on her with a failing grade. It is not acceptable because according to amendment I we have right to speech as long as it's not harmful. Uni. of Minnesota argues that it may regulate what students say on social networking websites on their personal time. But I would say she was just giving her opinion on disruption. I would also argue that since she was not a journalist, her way of saying her opinion is probably different or may be in a negative way, but it wasn't intended. If it's her fault in this case, then in the future, there won't be any student who is protected to give his/her right to speech. Usually colleges solve their issues by making students more aware, educate by the topic and providing them counseling instead of punishing students for typing their opinion on social networking websites. And the most important thing is she didn't post the comment on campus so that she didn't waste her uni. time on that post. Therefore, it should harm uni. policies.

University of Minnesota.

As a look at my first blog post, I do feel like it's improving by time. I kind of feel like I am reaching for my goals  that I made on the first day of the class. Even my essays are getting more descriptive and looks like college essays now. Thank you so much miss Spencer for giving me feed backs on my papers. They were so helpful!


Yeah, this class actually helped me as a writer because now I know how does my ideas show go with the flow of essays which my tutor taught me!!:) (Miss.Young) 


Yes, I feel like the class is kind of quiet and we should do more activities to make it fun. For example, when we went over coma splice and those stuff, we used some sentences for exercises and we all were so eager to find out the mistakes in those sentences.It was so much fun and it actually took all of us intention.


Yes, my writing has been changed a little because now my essays as I said are more descriptive and in MLA format with correction and wordy a little than before, So I guess it's a positive improvement in my writing but hopefully it will become more furnished by the end of the semester. 


On the scale of 1 to 5, I would say my writing has improved 2 to 3 but hopefully I will get better by time!

Purpose: The purpose of writing an analyze essay was to sell improved  iphone ultra product. On the other side, my literacy narrative purpose was improve my English skills. Therefore, both purposes  shows the improvement but in a different way.  


Audience: The audience of my analyze essay were teenagers and businessmen; however, the audience of my literacy essay were the people who moved to United States from different country. 


Genre: Literacy narrative is all about how much I suffered to get into AP classes and get out of ESL. On the other hand, in analyze essay, apple persuaded people to get iphone ultra so that they don't have to  suffer to look for apps which makes iphone more special.


Tone: iphone advertise has a funny an dashing tone; however, my literacy narrative has a serious tone.


Rhetorical situation: Analysis essay is more modern and improved version of an iphone which shows a great personality; however, my literacy narrative essay is about my own life and my hardships that I faced to improve my English.

Purpose: By showing the apps that people usually needs in regular life, this ad was able to persuade that iPhone Ultra 4G, is more easily accessible with the applications with 64 GB capacity with so many new features.
Audience: This style of iPhone is launched for the teenagers and business people which shows coolest personality and organization. The apps shows texting, camera, youtube, calculator, i tunes which everyone needs to enjoy their life.  The shadow of the phone is blurry which indicates that there isn't any phone like iPhone in this world.
Genre: This is one of the best ad from apple which has great blackish grey back ground which makes the phone more bright and its OLED screen makes it look more fashionable. All these arguments states that iPhone really shows a great personality with accessibility of all applications.
Tone: All the apps, black background, apple's logo on the back all create a dashing and fun tone!

 

• My final paper looks much better and descriptive than my rough draft. I corrected most of my errors and it's seems more organized than before. My rough draft had a lot of mistakes since I just put all the steps that I followed to get success; however, the steps weren't descriptive and organized like now. 
• Yes, I did major changes in my paper such as fragments, organization, description, etc. I also changed my grammar mistakes.

• Yes, after peer review and retyping the paper, I realized my mistake that I made during my rough draft. But some errors were just fragments so the power point that we went through in class helped me, too.
• Peer review and rereading my paper caused the changes that I made in my paper. Peer review actually helped me to see my partners' point of view which was kind of different than mine.
• Aspects of my essay: Strongest aspects of my essay was that I mentioned my all the steps that I went through and all the hardships that I faced during my journey from ESL to AP classes.
• My writing Process:

1. Type a rough draft of everything that comes out of your mind according to the subject.
2. Brainstorming on it. and add stuff on rough draft.
3. Check grammar mistakes.
4. Peer Review.
5. Corrections.
6. rereading essay out load to see if it makes sense or not.
7. final draft.

Done!!!:)

• Qualities of effective paper: 

1. Creative thesis: This is something that states why are we writing this paper and who are we writing to and what are we trying to convey our audience. Creative thesis can help reader to figure out the meaning behind our paper easily.
2. Organization: Organizing your body paragraphs in proper order and categories will help you and audience to see in which category your paper falls in. For example, political, social, personal, etc. It also help audience to understand your paper with out getting confuse.
3. Peer review: it helps if someone peer reviews our paper so that we can see our topic from two different point of view. May be our audience has different point of you than us. So we need to make sure that we cover each part of our topic.

• Creating thesis is the easiest thing for me because I am really good at going to the straight point instead of confusing audience. In addition, I also explain my thesis with examples so that audience can understand my point of view.Organization is the hardest thing for me because you need powerful vocabulary and grammar which is hard for me; moreover, I am not a good describer . I like to go to the straight point so I can't not describe well as other writers. Hopefully I will improve my paper by adding more vocabulary words and good organization.

For the Literacy narrative, my first topic is I want to write about my grandfather's life. He is a social worker and he helped a lot of poor people by providing them money, food, education, etc. He is my super hero and I actually want to appreciate his work. I think he should become inspiration for rich people who are willing to sponsor this kind of kind activities. 

 

My second topic is about the hardships that I suffered through in my childhood with out my mother. Can you imagine a child growing up with out a mother?? My family took care of my a lot but no one can take care of a child as much as a mother does. When I was in the middle school, all of my friends were talking about how do they spend time with my mom and I was just sitting there and creating a picture of my mom. As time passed, I had a perfect picture of my mom who was my imagination. I really want to tell all the teens who ignore their mothers because of their friends and their coolness that how would their life would  be if they didn't have her.

The third topic is about what my my journey from ESL to AP classes. It's really hard for a 16 years old girl to learn a new language with her parents higher expectations. I was a really bright child when I was in India so when I came here my parents wanted me to achieve the same goals that I have been achieving from middle school. I actually suffered through a lot of difficulties and I used to study so hard that I actually lose my weight. But the end of my senior year in high school, I became an inspiration for all the ESL students who came from different countries. 

English used to be my favorite subject since I was middle school, even though English is my second language.


I am taking English 101 for three reasons. First reason is that, English is not my second language so that I wanted to take English classes to improve my skills. I came from India two years ago so I have this Indian accent that I want to change. My professor from last semester said that I can be a really good writer if I keep practicing my skills. Second reason is that, It's a required course at NEIU for freshmen. And finally the third reason is that, Every major or career needs so kind of perfection in writing skills. 

I also took Senior Composition in my senior year so I typed 15 to 20 page long paper which was the great experience for me. That's the class that encouraged me more about improving my writing skills. 


By the end of this class, I would like to improve my vocabulary skills because I have poor vocabulary skills and I also want to learn how to type a college level paper. I really want to work hard on the papers for this class so that I can do my best in all that papers that I will have to type in future. 


One of my best quote for writing is:


" We don't write because we have to say something, we write because we have something to "say"." 


This is my favorite quote from Senior Composition class that I will never forget.


In this video Laura talks about how to improve your writing skills......